This is a continuation of Part 1.

#2 Learn the Power of No and Connect it to What Brings You Joy

I have never had a problem saying no. It has never been something that has been difficult for me. But what I’ve learned to do with that word in recent years is to use it in a way to help to reduce some of the stress and obligations in my life.
 

 

I am constantly and consistently overwhelmed with things to do. There are lots of things I would love to do, but there is just not enough time in the day for me to do them. So years ago, I decided to only say yes to the things that make me feel good and no to everything else. If there’s any question about whether I would enjoy doing it or want to do it, I simply say no. I have learned to lead with no. If I later decide to do it, once I see that I have my priorities done, then I will. But I don’t set it up in a way that requires me to do it, because that puts way too much pressure and stress on me to get it done.

I cannot tell you the level of joy I have received in practicing this. I simply start with a no. Then, once I have time to review what’s possible in relation to all of the other things I have to do, and/or want to do, I can decide to change my mind and do it. But I no longer have the stress or pressure to feel as if I have to do everything. This one principal in and of itself has created tremendous amounts of joy and happiness on a daily basis for me in my life.
 

I also do this with the things that I buy. If I don’t love it, I don’t buy it. With a very small exception in the event that I absolutely need something for work, if I don’t love it, it is definitely a no. I have never been one to do a tremendous amount of shopping, but when I do, this is now a principle I live by. And what that does is create a tremendous amount of joy in what I do have and eliminates what I don’t need and/or want.

If you eliminate all of the things that don’t feed you, you’ll have more time to put into all of the things that do.

Continue to Part 3.

My dress is by Byron Lars Beauty Mark.

Often times in anyone’s life there are many things that occur which prevent us from being all that we could be to ourselves. Those things can range from taking care of others, rearing your children and just dealing with all of life’s circumstances as a whole. But what I know for sure is that if you don’t move yourself into the position of number one, you will never be able to completely find the eternal joy and happiness that you desire and deserve in your life.
 

It happens without us knowing. You don’t wake up one morning and say, “Hey, I’m going to put myself at the bottom of the pile.” It is much more unconscious than that. It just slowly sneaks up on you. And before you know it, you are at the very bottom of the list and your entire life begins to reflect that new positioning.

Here are the top three things I did to mend my broken heart and to increase the level of joy and happiness in my day-to-day living after dealing with years of losing loved ones, coping with the permanent injury of a child, being responsible for others and the myriad of other challenges we all face that come along with simply living.

#1 Make Yourself Your Priority

Now, when I say to make yourself your priority, I don’t mean that in a selfish way. You can still be responsible for others and help take care of others, but what you can’t do is ignore and diminish your own needs in the process. What’s important to do is to daily, weekly, biweekly or even monthly, look at the things you need to do or have in place in your own life to be happy. What are the elements that bring you joy? Then make those items a priority. Regularly and consistently.

Sometimes those things can be as simple as giving yourself time in the day to just focus on the things that feed you. That was a very big one for me. Other times, it could be something that requires a bit more like getting regular massages, a therapy session, or a weekly night out with yourself or with a friend. But, whatever it is, decide that you are going to have it. Protect it. Preserve it. Decide that you’re worth it. Decide there is no way you will not give it to yourself and do it.
 

For me, one of those things is as simple as giving myself my mornings. I know for a fact that when I do – I am better. I am physically better. I am mentally better. I am emotionally better. I am spiritually better. To not do so would be a tremendous loss for me.

So many people depend on me for many different things in their lives – like their business needs, legal needs and/or personal needs. If I did not gift this time to myself daily, I would be weighed down with everyone else’s stuff without ever feeling filled. It’s like preparing to travel across the country without having gas in your tank. You know you have to expend energy and fuel to make it to your destination, but if you don’t have it, you cannot give it. My mornings provide me my gas to make it through the days so I can give more and be more throughout the day for those that need me to show up fully whole in a particular way.

My mornings are cleared for me. In my scheduler, they are completely protected. There is no meeting important enough to schedule during that time. There’s no client issue critical enough for me to forgo that focus. There’s no place I have to get to so important that I must go during those hours. The only things that matter during that divinely designated time are my thoughts, my wellness, my daily exercise and myself.

Continue to Part 2.

My dress is by Byron Lars Beauty Mark.